a "guru"
Apple geniuses. Search engine gurus. Baristas. Customer service superstars. Sandwich Artists. You see them all the time. The super trendy and tragically hip names for dull normal jobs. I call them the spit-shined turds of customer service.
In the recent past, companies have been naming their employees all kinds of stupid names. I guess they are doing it so that you don't hear the tired old terms like salesperson or customer service rep. Or maybe they are trying to hire folks who would never apply to be a paperboy but would be very excited to be a media distribution specialist. I can dig that, but at the same time... guru, really?
Look... we all know they are just half paid peons who are counting the minutes until the end of their shift so they can go home and play fortnight (or whatever you crazy kids are doing with your free time these days). It really is just lipstick on a pig, y'know? So let's all agree that it sucks to be a peon and having a stupid name for your job is not going to help with that.
In fairness though, I did recently see a copywriter with the title on their business card of "word herder" which I thought was quite clever 😉
Becky Winters, Sales Guru
I'm sorry, but when I want service, I don't really care if they are gurus or facilitators or whatever silly name the caricature of a super hip middle manager came up with to energize "his people" has decided to call them. Just help me accomplish what I need to accomplish.
Add to that the folks that are obviously not native English speakers with the most made-up sounding names and stock photo pics and I am just done with all of it. Take Mz. Winters over there who recently apologized to me for "asking to much questions"... really? They want to call that a guru.
Okay... I am now going to call myself a Website Happiness Coordinating Advocate... uh... Kahuna!
I really don't have a problem chatting with Rajnish in broken English... as long as he can help me solve my problems! And I find it a bit offensive that companies think so little of me that they assume I am more willing to speak to "Becky Winters" than I am Gazala Hasapimapedalaan. How much of a racist do they think I am?
Seriously though, we are web guys (and gals). We don't play stupid games, we don't think we are smarter than you and we won't ever talk down to you. We simply do our best every day to build your website so you can build your business. I just get tired of companies trying very hard to be different for the sake of being different. We try to be better because our clients deserve it... that's all. If it isn't hip or trendy enough then we might be doing it wrong, but it's how I want to be treated so that is how I will have my company treat our clients.
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